i have nothing to say,
except i cry.
Itu yang gue rasain waktu gue nulis ini. Serius, seems like I have much on mind, tapi
nggak bisa explain satu per satu. Gue
berasa jadi lebih sensitive dan peka. Tapi jujur, gue gak pernah bisa marah. Gue
cuma bisa nangis, dan tanya ke Tuhan, “gue kenapa kayak gini?”.
Someone told me, if I shouldn’t
to build a high wall for covering myself. But to be honest, I don’t know what
he was meaning it. I mean it in my own way (lol) I have a probs, much probs. But
as long as I breath, I just keep silent. Covering myself, do everything by myself,
clearing my probs by myself. I need bestfriend, I need someone whom can I ask
for sharing. Now I have nothing. I didn’t believe they’re anymore. No.
I know everyone is
changed. And everyone is possible to hurt someone. But he, hurt me a lot. I keep
on quiet, because I won’t lose him, and hope he will change. I keep on secret
if in facts I got hurt. I save it by myself, eventough I didn’t strong enough,
but I will weaker if he leave me. I tried to notice him, but he didn’t get my
notice. Dear, I just want we be like yesterday. Closer, and share each other
everytime we need each other. not like today, we becoming far, far, far.
Maybe it’s my fault. I
keep revenge on him. So I try to give you space for himself, for he play with himself.
With his own world. And I build a high wall for covering me from him. I’m just
a disturber, isn’t it? I walk in his life and make it unstable. And that the
reason I often cries, a loner, and make a space with my friend. I being more
comfortable alone.
Dan payahnya, gue gak ngerti kenapa dia bikin gue jadi kaya
gini. It’s not first time sih gue nangis
gegara cowok. Tapi dia, geez. Idk what
should I do now. I just try to keep in sociality but I can’t! This dumbass girl is becoming sho sensitive!
